The Incredible Melting Man. by Phil Smith

Spawn has its flaws, all right: there’s too much talk, scenes go on too long and lack the punch they might’ve had, but heck, you could say that about several dozen pricier, supposedly better movies. Fortunately, there’s a young sci-fi fan on hand that knows aliens and electricity don’t mix well and sets about baiting a trap before the creatures can slime his collection of vintage movie posters. Somehow able to sneak around despite their alarming size and appearance, these toothy predators proceed to tear off faces, bite off heads and generally be a nuisance to the townsfolk, such as when they invade a vegetarian dinner party.

Understand, this is not meant as a list of “better” films, it’s just a list of alternatives to the mega-budget, hype-driven franchise due to take over the popular culture from now until Doomsday.ĭirected by a former English teacher (whose students included David Copperfield and Vamp director Richard Wenk), The Deadly Spawn opens with a meteorite depositing an extra-terrestrial antagonist in Hicksville, but rather than a benevolent being in a rubber costume, these aliens resemble slimy, oversized pink worms with multiple rows of teeth, which they put to good use in the first five minutes, snacking on a pair of campers before moving on to the rest of the neighbourhood. This clearly needs addressing, and the people who will gladly pay to see more-of-the-same-only-different need to be introduced to such below-the-radar pictures. After all, there are plenty of other enjoyable B-grade Sci-Fi movies out there, but you don’t see anyone coming out for Santa Claus Conquers The Martians, do you? Neither particularly well directed, written (just ask Alec Guinness) or acted, Star Wars’ place at the top of the Sci-Fi heap is something of a mystery to the uninitiated. In which case, you should stop reading now.įor the rest of us, particularly those that thought that Boba Fett was a type of cheese, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens is just another sequel, and even though it won’t amount to anything more than two hours of special effects and chase sequences, it will still inspire an unreasonable amount of devotion from the people for whom the original was never “only a movie.”

In 2015, Christmas comes a week early – if you care about Wookies, Ewoks and whether or not Han shot first.

The Incredible Melting Man. by Phil Smith